May 2013
expectations of summer: going to the beach every day, water fights, parties, random day trips, barbecues
reality of summer: moving your laptop so that the sunlight doesn't reflect on the screen when you're trying to blog
Me: *sees book store* *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
Friend: no.
1 tag
canadumb:
thinsiqnificant:
canadumb:
*ducts tapes my laptop together*
*duct tapes my life together*
isnt that what i said
shuckl:
shuckl:
shuckl:
toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”
fries
do you ever look back at your mistakes
1 tag
miss-grace:
Are you ever just overwhelmed by the horrifying thought that maybe, nobody ACTUALLY wants you around? And it’s not that you think everyone hates you, but it’s just that you’re not special to anyone? And that its really kind of sucky that you’re about 98% sure that nobody thinks “Wow, I just really like talking to her.” and that you could probably just disappear without anyone caring...
2 tags
winchesterlicious:
My mum just came into my room and said “did you lose a pair of pants?”
and I was like “…what”
and then she took my hand
and gave me this carrot
I tried to give it back but she ran away laughing
homleschapel:
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
cokeflow:
Include me in things please
a slut in my class was talking out loud then this...
slut: omg my jaw hurts
quietest kid in class: then stop sucking dick
Me: Hey mum, Finding Dory's coming out in 2015.
Mom: What's that?
Me: The sequel to Finding Nemo.
Mom: What the fuck happened to Dory?
Mom: Where's Dori?
Mom: Why the fuck can't that guy keep track of anyone?
Me: What guy?
Mom: That little orange bitch, Marlin.
Anonymous asked: r u on omegle right now
thedramaticsneeze:
hoshigumayuugi:
i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
battybaby:
How to play horror games properly starring me:
tempoes:
everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
kingofthetroubledteens:
Telling WWE fans that wrestling is fake is sorta like telling people who buy Christmas presents that Santa isn’t real.
1 tag
1 tag
cumillionaire:
If my jokes offend you:
I’m sorry
It won’t happen again
1 & 2 are lies
You’re a pussy
After 10 seconds: (100+) Tumblr
After 10 days: (1) Facebook
horribleawfulcunt:
niamliveslarryloves:
basedgosh:
i hate one direction fans so much i need my whole room to cool down but no this damn thing only blows one way
I literally had to read that 5 times…
oh my god
deucebowl:
How the FUCK am I supposed to have a good day when 28% of Americans aren’t getting enough fiber?
1 tag
a detailed list of people who have a crush on me:
mowwwg:
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
2 tags
what purpose do wisdom teeth even serve
1 tag
rubywhiterabbit:
calderonbeta:
feralcastiel:
can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s
abe lincoln tweeting shit like “wow this play sucks just shoot me”
too soon
HE WAS SHOT IN 1865
